The relentless march of the identity-politics jackboots - today's edition

We live in an age in which it's not an oxymoron at all to speak of goose-stepping snowflakes:

Massive politically-correct outrage has broken out at a liberal arts college in Maine because people wore some sombreros at a tequila-themed party.

The party occurred in late February at Bowdoin College, where a year of tuition, fees and room and board costs $61,354.

A group of female students had decided to host a birthday party for a friend, reports Campus Reform.

The students’ party invitation urged guests to bring tequila and carefully explained that the party would not — not — be any sort of fiesta. It was only going to be a party with tequila.

After the party, photos appeared of white students festooned with brightly colored, miniature sombreros — perhaps the size of cereal bowls — on their heads.

Hispanic students immediately took great offense.

Next, high-ranking officials at the fancypants school launched a probe into a possible “act of ethnic stereotyping.”

On Feb. 22, Bowdoin’s dean of student affairs, Tim Foster, blasted out a school-wide email assuring students that both he and school president Clayton Rose were personally dedicated to investigating the small, tequila-themed party.

Bowdoin’s student council unanimously issued a “statement of solidarity” to “stand by all students who were affected by the” incredibly tiny sombreros at the “‘tequila’ party that occurred on 20 February 2016.”

Tiny sombreros and tequila consumption “will not and should not be tolerated by the Bowdoin community,” the student council statement proclaims.

The “offensive” party was an “act of cultural appropriation” that “creates an environment where students of color, particularly Latino, and especially Mexican, students feel unsafe,” the statement further declares.

The statement also demands that school officials create “a supportive space for students who have been or feel targeted, for as long as students deem necessary.”

At 1,267 words, the “Statement of Solidarity re: ‘Tequila’ Party” is impressively long — just 56 words shorter than the United States Declaration of Independence. It ends with “BY ORDER OF BOWDOIN STUDENT GOVERNMENT,” in all caps.

Bowdoin’s campus newspaper, The Bowdoin Orient, published a harsh editorial calling the tequilaparty a transgression against “basic empathy.” There was also an article by an angry Hispanic student chiding white students for knowing nothing about Mexico “beyond the two minutes of history you had in your ignorant American textbook.” (RELATED: Latina Student: Shortening The Word Guacamole Is Offensive To Mexicans)

A student council-sponsored meeting allowed opponents to criticize the tequila party, notes Campus Reform. None of the critics had apparently attended the actual party.

A student who actually attended the party wrote anonymously to Barstool Sports to explain that the party was a great time. The complaining students are a bunch of no-fun whiners, the student said.

These people need to be hog-tied and made to watch every Speedy Gonzales cartoon in the Warner Brothers archive.