The serious grownup: a vanishing species

But God-haters and identity-obsessives we have aplenty.

Faculty and staff, mind you, not the snot-nosed tabula rasas seated in the classrooms taking in their indoctrination, are the ones making the fuss at this particular outpost of civilizational rot:

Faculty and staff at the University of Kansas sent a letter to the school's chancellor, calling for a boycott of Chick-fil-A on campus over the company's stance on LGBTQ issues, according to The Hill.

Over the summer, the university allowed Chick-fil-A to open a location inside the student union, and entered a contract agreement with the company to sponsor the "Chick-fil-A coin toss" at home football games in coming years. Faculty and staff have protested Chick-fil-A's support of organizations "hostile to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer LGBTQ people, families, and communities."

"KU granted Chick-fil-A, a bastion of bigotry, a prime retail location in the heart of our campus," the letter reads.
More from the letter:

Moving Chick-fil-A to the Union and granting it a role at the start of all home football games violates the feelings of safety and inclusion that so many of us have striven to create, foster, and protect on campus, and sends a message that the Union, KU Athletics, and the administration at large are more concerned about money and corporate sponsorship than the physical, emotional, and mental well being of marginalized and LGBTQ people.

The faculty and staff are demanding that the University of Kansas not renew its contracts with Chick-fil-A once they expire, and that future decisions about companies to bring on campus be more "transparent, principled, and inclusive." The letter also calls on the campus community to boycott Chick-fil-A in the meantime.

Just stop it, right now. No one at Chick-fil-A, not the CEO, no board member, no spokesperson, even weighs in on "LGBT issues." Some years ago, the founder stated, in the course of an interview, the plain and, until our society went nuts, universally recognized fact that marriage consisted of one man and one woman. It's true that the company is overtly Christian, but hires and serves plenty of homosexuals every day of the week - well, except Sunday, when its restaurants are closed.

And now we have to endure a dustup over chocolate:

Cadbury, that confectionist purveyor or such delights as the Fruit & Nut Bar and the Creme Egg, has apparently come under fire for its newest chocolatey offering—which, ironically enough, the company created to demonstrate its commitment to diversity.

Read on, but be warned that my IQ dropped a full ten points just from reading the headline:

The British confectionery giant Cadbury has been facing some backlash on social media for a new candy bar that it introduced in India, which features four types of chocolate — dark, blended, milk and white — to promote diversity.

“This is as absurd as Kendall Jenner fighting police brutality with a Pepsi,” tweeted legal analyst Imani Gandy.

“Congratulations to cadbury for solving racism,” wrote restaurant critic Tejal Rao.

Cardbury rolled out the multi-flavored chocolate bars on Aug. 15 — teaming up with the global advertising agency Ogilvy — to celebrate India’s Independence Day.

I used to think that chocolate was a lot like bacon. Is there nothing it can’t do? But now, at least according to the woke scolds of social media, even my candy bar has to check its privilege, lest I commit some racial faux pas by eating it.

So what does ethnically insensitive chocolate look like? See for yourself—but be prepared, because once you gaze upon the face of such hateful bigotry, you will never be the same:

“Limited edition,” eh? Something tells me this edition is gonna be a lot more limited than Cadbury ever intended.

This is everything wrong with diversity,” tweeted one person. “You force in a set amount of predefined difference and it’s going to taste awful. I would rather see a range where you don’t know what you’re going to get, but it’s going to taste amazing whatever it is.”

Well, that’s one opinion. But we all remember what Dirty Harry said about opinions, don’t we?

Another person said, “You would THINK, if they were going for unity, that all of the types would be interspersed instead of segregated (from light to dark, no less). This is the problem with playing to the woke crowd; you BETTER get it right.”

Yes, it’s 2019 and we’re talking about segregated chocolate. 

I'm so embarrassed for my species.