Trying to have a little fun with the fact that his daughter's school is an ideological sewer

Chris Wysocki at Wyblog recounts a conversation with his daughter about a homework assignment:

She came home with an index card last night. On it she was supposed to write and then decorate a "slogan" urging people to curtail their use of fossil fuels.

Smart-ass that I am, I immediately channeled my friend Jeff.

In the Future, everybody gets to freeze in the dark.

"Dad!" She whinced. "We're worried about pollution."

Oh, then how 'bout this?

Recycle this index card, or THE PLANET WILL DIE!

"No, Dad, it has to mention fossil fuels or alternative energy. Besides, I'll get in trouble if I write that," although she was giggling by now.

Wait, did someone say "alternative energy?" OK then!

Put solar cells on your roof, because who needs lights at night?

That one really cracked her up. "It says that in my book. Look ..."

And sure enough, in her book it says one "drawback" of solar energy is that it doesn't work without sunlight.

So we're back to freezing in the dark again.

"What about wind energy?"

Have you ever heard how much noise a windmill makes?

Put a windmill in your back yard, because who needs sleep?

We won't even bother with how many minced birds they make every day.

A look of horror came over her face. "Windmills kill birds?"

Yup.

Say, what if we put a positive spin on something that's actually practical, like nuclear energy?

"No Dad! Nuclear waste is toxic! It lasts forever!"

Oh boy.

They then discuss electric cars and he enlightens her on the fact that coal is still a necessity for their operation.

She winds up putting some lame exhortation about recycling on the index card and their lives go on.