That Pope position has some requirements that rowdy Texans could never fill

I decided to post about this based on a comment-thread exchange under my post about the Pope's hard-left climate advisors.

I flirted with Catholicism a couple of years ago, but then lapsed back into not going to church altogether.

Now, I've found a little country church - UMC, but unencumbered by the denomination's national-level leftward tilt - that I've been attending regularly all year. Even getting involved, contributing to pitch-in meals and playing some special music during services.

Anyway, it's allowed me to take a fresh perspective on the papacy.

It's a take that is similar to that of Doug Giles. Giles is a solid conservative and Christian. His writing can be annoyingly formulaic, but sometimes it's just the bracing antidote to the cultural nonsense of the moment.

Such is the case with his list of reasons he could never be Pope:

1. The No Sex Clause Would Be A Deal Breaker. How a man can live around all those beautiful Italian ladies and not fall flat out in love is beyond my level of sanctification. When I first saw my Italian wife I knew right then and there my Pope pipe dreams were no mas.
2. I’m Not Soft Spoken. Apparently, if you’re going to be the Pope you have to speak in soft monotones. That ain’t me, man. When I speak I have all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. 
3. I Have Deeper Faults Than The San Andreas. 
4. I’m Not Fluent In Several Languages. Unless, of course, you consider pig-Latin and Texan different languages.
5. I Couldn’t Endure All The Adulation/Man Worship Of My Person. Sure, it would probably feel good for a few days, but after a while, as a sinner, it would get a wee bit creepy because … duh … I’m not God.
6. I Could Never Wear The Elvis Outfits. Wearing a suit is a stretch for me. A tie is a big, big deal. You can’t be a Pope and wear T-shirts and blue jeans, can you?
7. I Think Socialism Is Anti-Christian, Human Enslaving, Bullcrap. Plus, I prefer Jesus' view of self-defense in Luke 22 more than Pope Francis' kum-ba-yah "guns are evil" stuff he preaches to us behind heavily armed guards in a walled city. 
8. I Can’t Keep My Mouth Shut Around Evil Politicians.
9. I’m Not That Nice. My image of the Galilean is not a non-offensive Mr. Rogers type of dude, but rather a thirty-year-old holy rebel with a cause.
10. I Believe The Word Of God Trumps The Traditions Of Men. Yes, I saw Joseph Fiennes movie Luther and ran with it.

I was pleased to see affirmation of my view that, for all the excitement over his supposedly refreshing departures from the previous realm of papal concerns, the guy has a truly soporific speaking style. It wasn't just me.