Post-America's partner in patty-cake - today's edition

Our mortal enemy  the culturally rich,  dynamically youthful nation to which we have outstretched our unclenched fist got more than just a juicy photo op the night of the State of the Union address:

Iran’s FARS news servicequotes General Ali Razmjou of Iran’s Second Naval Zone claiming that his forces “seized thousands of pages of valuable intelligence from the US marines during their detention.”

Razmjou was referring to the January 12 incident in which Iran seized two small U.S. Navy boats with ten personnel on board.

Russia’s RT.com supports Razmjou’s claim by quoting the U.S. Navy’s report on the January incident, which said it was “clear that some, if not all, crew members provided at least some information to their interrogators beyond name, rank, service number, and date of birth.”

Additionally, FARS reports General Alireza Tangsiri claimed the Islamic Revolution Guards Corps Navy has “detained American and British trespassers twice and the Canadians and Australians once in the Persian Gulf,” without giving any details of the alleged incidents.

Tangsiri threw in a snide comment that foreign naval personnel are essentially mercenaries, coming to the Persian Gulf for “the salaries they receive,” but the Iranian navy is “defending our home and territories here.”

FARS also recalled a comment Tangsiri made in July about teaching the Americans, and other foreign navies, a lesson by humiliating the captured U.S. personnel: “We have a strong presence in the quintuple regions of the South and our independent bases in the Sea of Oman, in such a way that foreign vessels never dare to approach regions 12 miles away from our territorial waters and if they do, they will be treated like what we did to the Americans.”

Since the Islamic Republic is now a vital member of the International Community, they will no doubt use this information to help build a world in which all children feel safe, never go hungry, and get hugs whenever they are microagressed upon.